My gender and sexuality development

I’m writing this just to process a little bit what’s happening with me, and to document it for posterity, I guess. Read/comment if you’d like (: One of the things I’ve had to come to terms with in the last few years is my transness. Recently, I’m realizing it’s more complicated than originally anticipated. I … Continue reading My gender and sexuality development



Recovery is so weird. For me, anyway, it's weird just because when I have a slightly better day than average, I have to worry I'm sliding into a manic episode. And then I can think I'm doing okay as far as food, and something will happen and I'll crash right back down where I started. … Continue reading Ideas

You’re asking why the pain is always equal but the joy just never spreads around.

I was thinking about trauma and dangerous situations, like you do, and I also realized that in connection with some of that I’ve been trying to, in a way, reinvent the fucking wheel. A more accurate way to put it would be to say that I’ve been sliding away from a certain set of coping … Continue reading You’re asking why the pain is always equal but the joy just never spreads around.

Waiting II

It's ironic, to me, that I likely wouldn't consider myself disabled if I had the sort of access to medical care that more affluent folks in this country do and that people in other developed countries usually do. The United States is behind the times in a lot of ways; this is just one of … Continue reading Waiting II

Here goes nothing.

As I left Wyoming, I did my best to convince myself and everyone else that it didn’t bother me. And I think I was really able to believe this for a while, despite mounting evidence to the contrary. The reason I was able to believe it was because I’d convinced myself that everything would be … Continue reading Here goes nothing.

Hey, all. I’m still super broke and treading water, possibly for the next few months or more. Or however long it takes to get a decision on my disability appeal. So if anyone is able, please help. My PayPal email is, and the donate link is Thanks to those who have donated in … Continue reading