You’re asking why the pain is always equal but the joy just never spreads around.

I was thinking about trauma and dangerous situations, like you do, and I also realized that in connection with some of that I’ve been trying to, in a way, reinvent the fucking wheel. A more accurate way to put it would be to say that I’ve been sliding away from a certain set of coping … Continue reading You’re asking why the pain is always equal but the joy just never spreads around.

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Waiting (please read)

I feel useless. I haven’t had any income aside from the occasional donation on this blog since late July. I don’t know what I’m going to do if I don’t get approved for disability. I can’t work an eight hour day. I can barely work one hour at a time lately. I’d love to be … Continue reading Waiting (please read)

Making it mean something

If there's anything that's keeping me alive at this point, it's that I want to make all the shit I've been through mean something. I don't want it to all be for naught. I don't know exactly how to do that. But I'm trying to figure it out, and I have to make myself believe … Continue reading Making it mean something

Here goes nothing.

As I left Wyoming, I did my best to convince myself and everyone else that it didn’t bother me. And I think I was really able to believe this for a while, despite mounting evidence to the contrary. The reason I was able to believe it was because I’d convinced myself that everything would be … Continue reading Here goes nothing.

Hey, all. I’m still super broke and treading water, possibly for the next few months or more. Or however long it takes to get a decision on my disability appeal. So if anyone is able, please help. My PayPal email is nikhartsfield@gmail.com, and the donate link is https://paypal.me/nikh Thanks to those who have donated in … Continue reading

Please help: local mentally ill nonbinary person needs food, meds, etc

I’ve been posting about this for a little while, like the last couple of weeks, but the situation hasn’t gotten any better. A couple of people have donated, and I appreciate them and all the people who have boosted the posts I’ve made. It means a lot to me. But I still need help. Paypal: … Continue reading Please help: local mentally ill nonbinary person needs food, meds, etc

Disabled nonbinary trans person having a situation

Hey, all. As many of you may be aware, I have bipolar disorder. I also am in recovery from an eating disorder and am dealing with the aftermath of a nasty relapse that landed me in the hospital. In March 2014, I applied for disability benefits, and on September 6 of this year, I will … Continue reading Disabled nonbinary trans person having a situation