being honest with myself about being partway male aligned and liking boys is actually super liberating.
i’m honestly probably like 80/20 into femme presenting people versus masc presenting people, give or take, but i still identify as mlm, because that’s what i am, as much as a cis dude who is bisexual can adopt the label mlm.
plus. u know. presentation is not gender identity. i just happen to prefer feminine folks. but sometimes i’ll see a masc person and just be like… dang. that happens a lot lately, actually.
and like i’ve said, i don’t know about romantic attraction at all. am i capable of feeling that? i don’t know. i don’t know whether i’d want to if i could. it’s all very strange.
i didn’t realize how much internalized shit i have when it comes to sexual orientation. it seems like every time i turn around there’s something new to unravel and deal with in my head, something new that i’ve repressed or been in denial over or just plain hated about myself.
therapy has been good for me in that it’s given me increased ability to deal with these sorts of things, but it’s been really hard, too.
getting to the bottom of this sort of stuff and dealing with it properly as opposed to coping poorly or not at all, that’s good, but still. it’s not easy.